by Faculty Talent Show Ends Abruptly After Interpretive Dance Awakens Ancient Curse
Memorial High’s annual faculty talent show came to an abrupt and haunting halt Friday night when Ms. Donnelly’s interpretive dance piece–titled “The Rubric of Grief”–accidentally awakened what some are calling an ancient educational curse sealed beneath the auditorium floor since 1973.
Witnesses report that midway through the performance, the stage began to flicker, the lights dimmed unnaturally, and the building filled with a chalk-scented fog. “At first I thought it was a fog machine,” said Coach Dan. “But then a disembodied voice shouted SHOW YOUR WORK’ and I blacked out.”
One freshman who snuck in described a ghostly presence “grading people’s souls on a curve.” The math department was reportedly trapped in an invisible grading matrix for several minutes and forced to solve equations using cursed TI-83s.
Security footage shows the exact moment the curse was triggered: Ms. Donnelly hit a dramatic pirouette while yelling “Late work is still work!” and a trapdoor opened under the prop table. Several ungraded essays fluttered out like haunted confetti.
The event has since been declared “educationally supernatural,” and the auditorium will remain sealed until further notice–or until the ghost accepts Ms. Padilla’s extra credit portfolio.
Principal Harris issued a brief statement while saging his office: “Memorial High encourages creativity. But maybe let’s keep it PG and exorcism-free next year.”
