Substitute Teacher of the Year
by Velvet Thunder Nominated for Substitute Teacher of the Year—By Students at Memorial High School, Wichita Falls Velvet Thunder Becomes Unofficial Faculty Advisor for Confidence, Detention, …
Mavericks Football Team Adopts Texas Friendly Tackling Policy, Opposing Coaches Express Confusion
After a fall in which the defensive line accumulated approximately 47 personal foul calls, the coaching staff has announced a substantially revised tackling philosophy whose …
Memorial Cafeteria Mystery Meat Achieves Self-Awareness, Demands Inclusion On Student Council
After a series of unexplained tray movements throughout October, cafeteria management confirms that the Tuesday entree has reached the threshold of consciousness, and the Mavericks …
Memorial High Adopts ‘Spirit Verification Protocol’ for Pep Rallies; Mavericks Must Demonstrate School Spirit Before Gym Admission
Top tier ‘Truly Maverick’ grants front-row floor access; cheerleader-administered enthusiasm screening takes approximately 47 seconds Memorial High School announced on Tuesday a new pep rally …
Memorial Yearbook Now Requires 140-Word ‘Justification Statement’ for Senior Portraits; Three Approved Pose Categories Identified
Categories include Reflective Senior, Athletic Tradition, and Future Forward; Casual Photo Justification under exploratory study Memorial High School announced on Wednesday a new senior portrait …
Memorial High School’s Detention Hall Now Offers Therapy Goats
Memorial High School’s Detention Hall Now Offers Therapy Goats – Guidance & Counseling
Memorial Mavericks Band Director Bans Phones During Rehearsal; 47 Students Immediately Document the Ban on Their Phones
Mr. Patterson’s New “Phones Away” Policy Produces Its First Enforcement Crisis Before the Policy Is Fully Explained Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. …
Memorial Mavericks Unveil New School Mascot Redesign; Existing Maverick Unavailable for Comment
Wichita Falls High School’s Beloved Horse-Riding Cowboy Gets “Modernisation” Treatment; Student Body Divided Along Generational Lines That Didn’t Previously Exist in High School Reported by …
The School’s Photocopiers Achieve Consciousness Demand Benefits
The School’s Photocopiers Achieve Consciousness Demand Benefits – Resources
Memorial High School’s Gym Lockers Develop Separation Anxiety
Memorial High School’s Gym Lockers Develop Separation Anxiety – Student Life
Memorial High School’s Cafeteria Introduces “Mystery Meat Roulette”
Memorial High School’s Cafeteria Introduces “Mystery Meat Roulette” – Lunchroom Mysteries
The School’s Hallways Have Developed Rush Hour Traffic Patterns
The School’s Hallways Have Developed Rush Hour Traffic Patterns – Resources
Memorial High School’s Library Books Now Graded on Emotional Damage
Memorial High School’s Library Books Now Graded on Emotional Damage – Academics
Therapy Goat Now Vice Principal, Reportedly Better At Email Than Predecessor
Therapy Goat Now Vice Principal, Reportedly Better At Email Than Predecessor – memorial
Students Discover Wellness Wagon Is Just A Folding Chair Outside The Field House
Students Discover Wellness Wagon Is Just A Folding Chair Outside The Field House – memorial
New Policy Lets Seniors Submit Essays Via Two-Step, GPA Now Based On How You Carry Yourself
New Policy Lets Seniors Submit Essays Via Two-Step, GPA Now Based On How You Carry Yourself – memorial
Principal Confirms Hall Passes Now Tied To Steer Wrestling Performance
Principal Confirms Hall Passes Now Tied To Steer Wrestling Performance – memorial
District Spends $400K On VR Headsets Currently Being Used To Watch The Same TikToks In 3D
District Spends $400K On VR Headsets Currently Being Used To Watch The Same TikToks In 3D – memorial
Homecoming Parade Ends Early After Senior Brings Actual Bull And Too Much Confidence
Homecoming Parade Ends Early After Senior Brings Actual Bull And Too Much Confidence – memorial
Memorial High School’s Chess Team Banned for Running Sports Book
Memorial High School’s Chess Team Banned for Running Sports Book – Athletics
ChatGPT Used For Homework Now Speaking In Strong Wichita Falls Accent
ChatGPT Used For Homework Now Speaking In Strong Wichita Falls Accent – memorial
Cafeteria Brisket Achieves Sentience, Demands To Be Returned To Cow
Cafeteria Brisket Achieves Sentience, Demands To Be Returned To Cow – memorial
Robotics Team Denies Underground Tractor Pull, Calls It Aggressive Engineering
Robotics Team Denies Underground Tractor Pull, Calls It Aggressive Engineering – memorial