Guidance Department’s “Emoji Counseling” Goes Mainstream

by Annabelle BransfordAugust 10, 2025

Guidance Department’s “Emoji Counseling” Goes Mainstream

Memorial High’s guidance office introduced “Emoji Counseling” to connect with students–advising them through text threads and mood-based emoji reactions instead of face-to-face sessions. Students select their current emotion from a menu–?? (exam stress), ?? (social anxiety), or ?? (future planning)–and counselors reply with tailored advice, GIFs, and a string of supportive emoji sequences like ??????.

While some teens appreciate the low-pressure texting, parents worry about nuance lost in icons. To bridge the gap, counselors now offer hybrid “Emoji + In-Person” slots. Meanwhile, guidance interns are mastering the art of nuanced emoji composition–ensuring that a simple ?? really means “I understand; let’s talk.”

The department plans to publish an “Emoji Wellness Guide” next semester, teaching students the difference between a helpful ?? and a dismissive ?? in times of teenage turmoil.

Annabelle Bransford

Hi, I’m Annabelle Bransford, Memorial High School’s unofficial satirist-in-residence and proud founder of The Daily Detention—a publication so edgy it’s been banned twice and resurrected three times, like a sassy phoenix with a flair for detention slips. I write satire because someone has to hold the line between cafeteria chaos and gym class tyranny. Whether I’m exposing the secret emotional feud between our Algebra teacher and Euclid, or investigating why the pep rally feels like an ancient ritual sacrifice, I try to speak truth to hallway power. Sure, I’ve been called “disruptive,” but mostly by people who wear lanyards unironically. My work has been read by at least two janitors, my entire AP English class, and one substitute teacher who thought it was a cry for help. I consider that range. When I’m not sharpening my wit, I’m dodging group projects, winning banned book club trivia, or mentoring the school's AI Isn’t Funny Club (membership: just me and 17 bots I’ve emotionally manipulated). I’m also a National Merit Semi-Finalist, certified eye-roller at Student Government meetings, and the only girl in school who’s been accused of “weaponizing irony.” My goals? Keep writing, keep laughing, and one day publish a satirical exposé called Yearbook Superlatives and Other Lies. If you want something sugarcoated, try the bake sale. If you want the truth with a punchline, I’m your girl. I've landed a sweet job at Bohiney Magazine, so don't bother me. EMAIL: annabelle@bohiney.com

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