by How Jake Thompson Accidentally Became Memorial High’s Most Beloved Club Figurehead
Junior Jake Thompson just wanted to eat his lunch in peace when the Anime Club mistook his sandwich art (a Pikachu made from ham slices) as enthusiastic membership. Now he’s the unwitting mascot of seven organizations that misinterpreted his mild manner as passion. “I nodded at a chess match once and suddenly I’m ‘Vice President of Strategic Gaming,'” sighs Thompson, whose likeness now appears on the Robotics Team’s recruitment posters after he absentmindedly held a wrench for someone.
Teachers playfully refer to him as “The Accidental Joiner,” while club leaders compete to “claim” him for events. Thompson recently found himself leading the Environmental Club’s protest – despite never attending a meeting – when someone handed him a “The End Is Nigh” sign he was too polite to refuse. His mother keeps asking when he’ll have time for homework between all these activities he doesn’t actually do. “At this point,” Thompson says while being photographed for the Literary Magazine’s “Most Involved Students” issue, “I’m just waiting to be named prom king by complete accident.”
