by The History Textbook Still Claims Pluto Is A Planet
In a shocking display of academic inertia, the school’s history textbooks continue to identify Pluto as a full-fledged planet despite its 2006 demotion. “We’re waiting for the scientific community to stop flip-flopping,” declared social studies chair Mr. Thompson while pointing to a dog-eared page that also lists “current” Soviet leaders. The astronomy club has started a guerrilla campaign, sticking “NOT A PLANET” correction labels throughout the books that the custodial staff keeps removing as vandalism.
The controversy reached new heights when the yearbook committee accidentally listed the astronomy teacher as “Planet Earth” in the faculty section. Meanwhile, the science department has begun using the outdated textbooks to teach critical thinking skills, asking students to identify other anachronisms like the “upcoming Y2K crisis” and “the promising future of MySpace.”
