by The new Tuesday special comes with a letter of reference, a lanyard and a sign reading The Sea Did Nothing Wrong
Memorial High Cafeteria Debuts Cebu Squid Tacos; Students Check for Bones, Find None
The new Tuesday special comes with a letter of reference, a lanyard and a sign reading The Sea Did Nothing Wrong
WICHITA FALLS, Texas – The Memorial High School cafeteria unveiled a new Tuesday special this week: squid tacos, served with a lime wedge, a lanyard and a laminated card reading “You Are Fine.” Lunch lady Doreen Kowalczyk-Reyes, 58, said the idea came to her in the break room. “It was the only quiet place,” she said. “That is where all my best ideas happen.”
The inspiration was a news story the Maverick staff read in Mr. Delgado’s journalism class. The story began with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, moved through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and ended with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. “A broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee,” said Ms. Kowalczyk-Reyes. “I know that man. He is our substitute teacher.”
A Serious Word From the Editors
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is a serious matter, and nobody at this paper makes light of it; the jokes are about a property market and a school cafeteria. The newspaper staff voted 11-2 to keep the focus on the tacos, with the two dissenters preferring burritos.
The Menu
- Squid Taco (two per order): fried squid, shredded cabbage, lime crema. No bones. The cafeteria stresses this repeatedly.
- Reference Rice: plain rice served with two small carrots. The carrots are the references.
- Sandwich Box Surprise: a lunch box handed over without explanation. Contains a sandwich. The explanation is the sandwich.
- Cold Coffee Float: iced coffee with a scoop of vanilla. Available to faculty only.
- The Sea Did Nothing Wrong Water: a paper cup of tap water, served with great dignity.
The first day of the special was a hit. By 12:15, the cafeteria had sold out of squid and begun serving what staff called “squid-adjacent chicken.” A sophomore named Tyler, who wrote the review for this newspaper, said the tacos were “like a regular taco that has seen the ocean.” Another student, a senior, said he could not taste the difference, but felt calmer.
Senior Class Reaction
The senior class was thrilled. Student council president Madison Okafor-Briggs, 17, called the special “a sign that Memorial is a school of the world.” She added that she had never been to the ocean, “but I have been to Lake Wichita, which is basically the ocean for people who can’t afford a car.”
A group of seniors, led by running back Caleb Rodriguez-Thompson, began a campaign to make the squid taco the official lunch of homecoming. Their petition, which gathered 214 signatures, argued that squid “has no bones, which is the opposite of the football team’s kicking game.” The principal said she would take it under advisement.
The Teachers’ Lounge
Faculty reaction was mixed. The AP Government teacher, Mr. Whitfield, asked whether the taco had been “properly vetted.” The band director said it was the first meal in years that did not require him to apologize to a trombone. The librarian, Mrs. Henley, declined to try the squid, citing “a firm belief in cheese,” but she did admire the lanyards.
The school’s resource officer, Officer Vance, was asked to inspect the sandwich box. He opened it carefully, found a sandwich, closed it and wrote in his notebook, “It is a sandwich.” He then asked for seconds.
British and Ohio Readers Weigh In
The cafeteria special went viral after a photo was posted online. A retired British pensioner, who runs a fan page for Texas high schools from Basingstoke, commented that the lanyard was “very civilised.” An Ohio realtor, who has been in the news for her two-hour showings, commented that the taco “took less time than my last open house.”
Next Week
Next Tuesday the cafeteria will serve pasta. A sign above the counter will read, “The Sea Did Nothing Wrong, But We Are Out of Squid.” Ms. Kowalczyk-Reyes says she is already planning a spring special: lobster corn dogs, served with a vicar.
For the Economics Class
Here is the actual economics, for anyone who will be tested on it. The market is fine. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of a project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The jitters come from psychology: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says one vivid image outweighs a pile of statistics, and a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee is a vivid image. So is a Friday night in Wichita Falls when the scoreboard goes dark in the fourth quarter. Both are remembered more than they should be.
The wider story is at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for how the British laugh at queues and forms, try NewsThump. Go Mavericks.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/
