by Memorial High School’s Smartboards Still Running Windows XP
In a technological time capsule that would make archaeologists weep, Memorial High School’s “smart” boards still proudly run Windows XP, complete with the classic Bliss wallpaper and that nostalgic hourglass cursor that appears whenever teachers try to do anything more complex than change the desktop background.
“We prefer to think of it as vintage tech,” claimed IT director Mr. Jenkins while manually rebooting Board #3 for the seventh time that morning. “Besides, the Clippy paperclip assistant gives students valuable lessons in patience and frustration tolerance.” Teachers have developed workarounds like writing lesson plans on actual paper and holding them up to the webcam, while students take bets on which application will crash first during presentations.
The school board has repeatedly denied upgrade requests, noting that “if it still plays the original Minesweeper, it’s good enough for education.” Meanwhile, the computer science club has started a support group for traumatized devices, and the history teacher uses the boards to demonstrate what life was like in the early 2000s.
