August 30, 2026

Retirees and New Hires Roll Call

Retirees and New Hires Roll Call

This year’s “Retirees and New Hires Roll Call” merges tears of farewell with cheers of welcome. Retiring history teacher Mr. Thompson, caught gazing wistfully at the lockers he’s patrolled for three decades, holds his final lesson plan like a sacred text. His farewell wave, immortalized in candid form, will grace the “Hall of Legends” alongside his famous “skip-graders” anecdotes.

On the flip side, new science instructor Dr. Nguyen arrives fresh from the world of particle physics, clipboard in hand, eyes brimming with unspent enthusiasm. A candid shot captures her explaining quantum theory with wild hand gestures–students oscillating between fascination and fear. Similarly, freshmen counselor Ms. Lopez, clutching color-coded planners, offers the “New Maverick Orientation” smile so broad it rivals the cafeteria’s pancake flip.

These portraits bridge generations of Maverick mentors–honoring the legacy of seasoned educators while heralding the exuberance of new staff. Because whether signing off after decades of service or signing in with wide-eyed optimism, each face in this roll call contributes to the ever-evolving tapestry of Memorial High School.

Annabelle Bransford

Hi, I’m Annabelle Bransford, Memorial High School’s unofficial satirist-in-residence and proud founder of The Daily Detention—a publication so edgy it’s been banned twice and resurrected three times, like a sassy phoenix with a flair for detention slips. I write satire because someone has to hold the line between cafeteria chaos and gym class tyranny. Whether I’m exposing the secret emotional feud between our Algebra teacher and Euclid, or investigating why the pep rally feels like an ancient ritual sacrifice, I try to speak truth to hallway power. Sure, I’ve been called “disruptive,” but mostly by people who wear lanyards unironically. My work has been read by at least two janitors, my entire AP English class, and one substitute teacher who thought it was a cry for help. I consider that range. When I’m not sharpening my wit, I’m dodging group projects, winning banned book club trivia, or mentoring the school's AI Isn’t Funny Club (membership: just me and 17 bots I’ve emotionally manipulated). I’m also a National Merit Semi-Finalist, certified eye-roller at Student Government meetings, and the only girl in school who’s been accused of “weaponizing irony.” My goals? Keep writing, keep laughing, and one day publish a satirical exposé called Yearbook Superlatives and Other Lies. If you want something sugarcoated, try the bake sale. If you want the truth with a punchline, I’m your girl. I've landed a sweet job at Bohiney Magazine, so don't bother me. EMAIL: annabelle@bohiney.com

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